EL ESTA (STILL) AQUI.
Tonight is likely the last time I have watched Carlos Beltran play baseball in a New York Mets uniform. It wasn’t a bad last game.
I wanted to take a million photographs and then just gave up. I just wanted to watch him play, watch him at bat, watch him in the outfield. I wanted to remember what it was like to hear his walkup music, watch him come out of the dugout, watch him stride over to the plate and draw that J in the dirt. I wanted to stand up and applaud him when he came to bat in that first inning, and I don’t know why I just didn’t do it, why I worried about blocking the view of the people behind me, and I didn’t want to get into a discussion about What We Will Get For Carlos Beltran. (As it was, the conversations around me on the 7 train ride and the rest of the game was like being in the comments section of MLB Trade Rumors.) I did, however, applaud pointedly and loudly when he hit that double, and I felt better.
I wished it had been a quieter night at Citi Field. I wished that it hadn’t been a night of THE METS WELCOME Day Camps R Us (I’m not making that up) and the summer interns from every big 5 accounting and law firm in the city. It was loud and boisterous and it had nothing to do with the actual game. There were matching shirts, there were multiple cycles of the wave, there was the father behind me talking about Dillon Gee’s no hitter at the end of the third inning (no seriously, he was telling his young son that he wouldn’t be able to take him home early), there were hipster Cardinals fans sitting in everyone’s seats but their own and giving you attitude when you told them to move.
I wished we had better seats. I wished I took more photos. I wished I had worn my Beltran shirt. I wished I had bought that Beltran jersey a few years ago. I watched him and Jose talk throughout the entire game, I watched Carlos bring Jose his hat and glove at the end of the half innings, I watched them laugh and high five. I wonder if they think about that they are playing their last games together. (Yes, I was a barrel of laughs at the game tonight.)
It has not been a great few months in el casa de metsgrrl. Knowing that at least one of my favorite baseball players is about to leave the Mets is not making it any better.
I will write more later, because he deserves more, but for now, at least, this is goodbye.
p.s. My novel is out tomorrow (7/20)!! Please come take a look. I am proud and excited and happy, please, check it out and wish me luck!