Dear SportsNet New York:
I am a long-standing subscriber of your network. We will omit the small fact that I have no choice but to be a subscriber of your network if I want to watch the New York Mets on television. Let’s just leave it that I am a loyal customer.
I am writing to bring your attention to a series of commercials featured on your network. While I realize you are not just a Mets station, but rather are a “New York sports” station (as you go to great lengths to remind us), these commercials are played with disturbing frequency during Mets games in particular. I am speaking, of course, of the Ford motor vehicle advertisements regarding one Derek F. Jeter* and his “edge”. These commercials air constantly during Mets games, repeatedly. They don’t just run once, twice or three times, but well over half a dozen times. Sometimes they even run one inning break after another.
While I realize it may come as a shock to you, but Mets fans do not like Derek F. Jeter. In fact, I think better verbs to describe their feelings towards Mr. D.F. Jeter would be “hate and despise”. I realize that you might think it impossible for me to speak on behalf of all Mets fans. While I am sure there are a few in our number who try to run that “I’m a NEW YORK fan” nonsense, I think that a random poll of any dozen Mets fans getting off the 7 train would provide you with 12 unique and highly colorful negative opinions of Derek F. Jeter.
Of course the Ford Corporation is making their selection of a spokesperson based on market research facts and figures, but I would like to assure them, and you, that their use of Derek F. Jeter is not making the vehicle in the commercials more attractive. In fact, quite the opposite. Most Mets fans cannot understand why these commercials run ad nauseum during Mets games, when the team for which Mr. Derek F. Jeter plays has their very own station where these commercials would be welcomed, embraced, and lauded as the single greatest innovation in the history of commercial advertising by the people who willingly watch that station.
Unfortunately you have me in a situation where I can’t say that I will boycott your station unless you remove these commercials, so I can tell you that I will certainly be boycotting the Ford Corporation. Not that I’m buying a new car any time soon with gas edging (get it?) near $4.75, but if I was going to, it *definitely* wouldn’t be a Ford. I won’t even park near one now.
Thank you for your consideration.
*You know what the “F” stands for. Don’t you?